I was dirving home tonight on Hwy 100 and I was overwhelmed at the loss of my
daughter. I Thought of all the times she had driven down that same road. I
thought about the pleasure I always got from seeing her, holding her and
telling her how much I loved her. I miss that sooo much! I've always been
very demonstrative and affectionate. Missing her as I do, it sometimes seems impossible to adjust to life without her
(the way it was)!
I sometimes find myself really letting go on those drives (no one is there to be uncomfortable
with my grief). I thought of how much she would prefer if I wasn't sad but
instead empowered by her memory. It feels good to know how much she cared
about me (I suspect she still does). I continue to do the best I can, to
bring the very best I can to life. I hope to discover my strengths and
accept my weaknesses, and to do the same with others! When I arrived home, I
found this email. It seems so pertinent considering my current struggle.
Attitude is Everything
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant in America. He is always in a good mood
and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he
was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs,
so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the
waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural
motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there,
telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and
asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself,
I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose
to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time
something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn
from it.I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me
complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the
positive side of life I always choose the positive side of life." "But it's
not always that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all
about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect
your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how
you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are
never supposed to do in the restaurant business: he left the back door of his
restaurant open one morning and was robbed by three armed men. While trying
to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the
combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found
quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of
intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the
bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was,
he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I
declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as
the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I
should have locked the back door, " Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me,
as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to
live or could choose to die. I choose to live."
"Weren't you scared,? I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into
the Emergency Room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and
nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew
I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big
nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to
'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for
my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I
told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to
either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours that
no one can control or take from you - is your attitude, so if you can take
care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.